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Grief wouldn’t be the natural process that it should be without some yearning for the person you just lost. If you can’t list your strengths, start a self-esteem file.
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#BROKEN HEART BORDELLO REMASTERED MONKS QUESTIONS PLUS#
Plus you haven’t smoked a cigarette since that funeral back in December of last year!” I say all of that while listening to the Rocky soundtrack, and by the last line, I’m ready to tackle my next challenge: move on from this sadness and try to be a productive individual in this world. I say to myself, “Self, you have been sober for 20 years!! Weaklings can’t pull off that! And here you are, alive, after those 18 months of intense suicidal thoughts. “Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied: “Who tied you up?” This old gardener answered: “Nobody tied me up.” The Great Monk said: “Then why do you seek liberation?”Īs I wrote in my “12 Ways to Keep Going” post, a technique that helps me when I feel raw and defeated to try anymore is to list my strengths. It is my job to fill the emptiness, and I can do it … creatively, and with the help of my higher power. But I have learned over and over again that I can. When I’m experiencing the intense pangs of grief, it is so difficult to trust that I can be whole without that person in my life. That job is all my own, with a little help from God. One of the most liberating thoughts I repeat to myself when I’m immersed in grief and sadness is this: I don’t need anyone or anything to make me happy. Soon the pain lost its stronghold over me. By going through the intense pain, I eventually surfaced as a stronger person ready to tackle problems head on.
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Not around it.” Because if I went around some of the issues that were tearing me apart inside, then I would bump into them somewhere down the line, just like being caught in the center of a traffic circle. During the 18 months of my severe depression, my therapist repeated almost every visit: “Go through it. Here’s a simple fact: You have to grieve in order to move on. Because no shortcut is without its share of obstructions. I realize the most difficult task for a person with a broken heart is to stand still and feel the crack.